The dozen police car outside ….
Isn’t your weekend party, you sit or you cannot lay down. Your shoulder are tight. You all weight lifting carried something heavy. Your mirror scene with Riley in the bathroom, that’s fine, you have those talk. You are like that. You and your father can both hollow each other’s eyes and eat one quiet meal.
You both are waiting for something, you won’t have those chance anymore. You thought about that ?
You tell your father what ?
“The day I turn off my main consciousness in eating the first meal before I got evaluated I am a completely psycho, it’s not that I read it so loud you can hear it, sounds legal tense. We don’t have to talk about it now. We don’t see each other that often but today I feel it. I did wish I have some family with me to sign some forms in the hospital. If you want to go, I can come with you any time you thought about anything you didn’t tell me. I just need to, like Anna says, not like Anna’s paper says, I need 3 weeks lay down, or the 6 months. I didn’t think it was a super big deal, but I am glad you are here with me.”
“I used to screaming yelling to this stuff animal. It’s no longer there. It’s just a stuff animal. I got very upset and angry, and …he is the only thing that has an immediate response. I lay down, no one sits next by me. I need to lay down ? “
“If I lay down, what do I do, open my eyes, it’s the head cannot turn off, up, so I stay open my eyes, what’s an engine means, I will be shutting down the head or the consciousness, it’s no audible, not even shu shu shu now I think of it, is that the sensation like a voice, a wind, you mean a girl sound or a background I cannot describe it. Inside my head ? “
“If I breathe with my nose up and down, am I going to die, this ceiling so tall.”
“The audio so loud, I cannot see the ceiling up if my head is up looking….we have those fights. It’s …just me emits a thought, we both understand or sometimes …I think funny too if I hear something. Now, no more? I have my ceiling roof in my room, and? What’s the next step?”
You can read it loud in your room, rehearsal. Tomorrow you go to whom and sit down read it. You can write what he says down next by. You say you feel safe.
“Is that okay I write it down? I have some fear, but if I write it down, I can read it 10 times, get up the bed, read, lay down, think, get up read, lay down think. Get up and look at that paper next by and lay down.”
“You say so many things, one of the things when I read maybe you are right. “
“The otter means I need a back hug from nick…he learns a hug. The chiropractor hugs ? Anna’s doctor. If I die they gonna all die?”
“If I am so in fear, can I sit in the wheel chair ?”
“Do I get those children drinks? The water at night right ? This ceiling what’s shu shu shu means, it’s a voice be with me. Those are airy ceiling my head up, you know my head never up?”
“Do you mean windy in my head, not looking up. Is there fluid or some sound to hear? Anything should be moving ? The ceiling can look up, right? If on the wheel chair clutch in, I feel safe or I look up? Too many tall people, I look at them, I look up? Can you say it again, what’s shu shu shu means ? You say it was a girl or it was a man? My emotion, I got scared each time and then?”
“Okay, I breath”
10 times heavy breathing.
“Do I suppose to hear anything ? Can you answer me, your voice ?”
“The ceiling should be noise or not noise you are very very sure ?”
“If I write it and read it, after you leave it’s the same ? I mean the ceiling top ?”
Can you hold my hand, we say this again. I feel a touch.
My ceiling not there anymore or it will be back?
These are the noise are these are the human ?
“How long you think I will be okay ?”
“I need to be okay every single day, this ceiling you think real? No, I am the problem everyone thinks, my ceiling ?”
“I want to know for sure real.”
You are fine, you doing good.
“My hand cold or warm ? Any those hand warm thing I can hold? If I get nervous, I am cold or I am nervous now whole day, you are sure? Every time I ask you sure, you are very very very sure the ceiling, the noise, do you think I ever hear the door close or anyone walking around or they chatting noise between themselves. ”
Can I ask you?
Are they ghost or are they Kevin they were ? Are you sure they are different ?
Can we turn on the light seeing the whole up together ? What if I lay down, can you sit there?
“If my head is on my pillow, they are on the ceilings or the noise. But my head is down. Not the right not the left.”
My elevator is right up. Did you kill it today ?
“If I feel sleepy, you will close the light, should I go to the bathroom one last time?”
“They are the security, that’s good, I should keep them, or? How long you will be here every night, I can cover the bed on the top of me? Is that normal ? So many you surround, and I need the bed up. You think there is a reason you don’t look at me different ? The bed has this cover because I am not on my chair to clutch my back and look up, you don’t think that’s ridiculous right ? They gonna come in every night ? Just for now ? They can put a table outside and a bench to sit, I know you and them worried. What if …the wind or the ceiling exist I yawn if I can sleep. I really have an engine up in my head, you think I sleepy not sleep…I probably slept a bit, should I drink a bit warm cup water ? Can you give me some warmer water?”
“7 days is a week, I will count per day, that’s how you live everyday ? And you think there is another 7 days, you very sure ? I didn’t eat a lot, that’s my father. Kevin …whom was with Kevin, I ever say? It’s on the camera, he exists in the camera, the TV, the animal, I want to cry because they humiliate me, you think ?”
“What’s a narrative means in English ?”
“Oh, you do a story telling before ? And what’s a conversation means ? I laugh or I giggling fine if I hear a corresponding or seeing the people in front of me. I would have an immediate response, I gonna forget. I always forget ? This thing my ceiling I will forget tomorrow, 2 days ?”
“Do you like the Celine Dion? You like my voice? It’s not a man’s voice sounds right, my voice ?”
“If someone asking you a sound, is that legal? Not existing those? And it should be they are older so they are always right ?”
“What do you think, you never say it goodbye ? Someone already kills it, not even meet, already terminated killing, is that legal, he comes back? You would kill something the first time you meet, or the first time goodbye, you are sure? Someone does this to me, and she knows that was Kryon, she normal ?”
“I always know she isn’t quiet …up to our sleek, but that’s her Kryon twin, you hear me talking right? You think that things still in hearing? I should hear it right ? Do you think it’s legal it’s a twin in the movies? She kills it before even meets about 2 days. Did I say kill it or she just kills it, someone did. We did it. Oh ~~”
“But that’s not the movie, right ? You sure ? Are you really sure we didn’t need to be that movie? He sounds …like Kryon. You know whom he was? He went to UN. I drink some water. Thank you.”
“Can I have some soda cracker, some warm water, or warmer milk the mug, my hand. Any warmer soup with some cracker in, I sit up 30 mins. We can talk?”
“You know what happened the last 2 days ? I cannot tell my father right, is this thing legal? I fear him should not Kryon right, but I fear all the time.”
“The older people why they are right or wrong means to me, you think?”
“It’s not polite I just keep saying shut up, I should ?”
Correct.
“Do you think there is a goodbye, I forget in 2 days?”
You are fine. You will be fine another 2 days. All the time.
“I learn not it always fear, it’s so quiet or that’s another engine in my head.”
“Do you feel… I hit a bit my right ear, I used to would, you believe that’s legal ? If we talk about it? Now if I did…my right side any side…I don’t feel reserved or right side missing a brain, missing a void brain, is that legal ? No one takes it out, it’s no…particular sound or human, or I always know it’s on the right. If I feel to cry in tear, it’s because you are here, I eat something I feel better? Can I put some tissues boxes 1 or 2 near my night stand ? Talking with some voice I feel better, I am fine right ? What if I cry, I am fine any time this week 7 days ? I didn’t have the time to think the movie, or the goodbye, or someone meets each other twins and she already kills it. That’s not legal, right ? Not dead or dead all of those, closing door or walking, I wasn’t detail, I told you or someone before ?”
“Is that legal ? “ ( can I outburst cry ?)
“She kills the counter parts she has no more evidence, I have no more evidence she didn’t meet, there is no movie plot, that thing is not Kryon la ~~~~~~~~”
You do slowly per talk. I don’t carry you.
By yourself. You can get a pen write on a paper she answers you. You sure ?
You read it per night, you tell her.
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