William, I thought you did stand fine.

Like you are busy, and all that. These behind sticking out, they show that a lot.

You can stand near by someone, and make a discussion, you feel you can still talk out, like your literacy, or the inner feeling the sensation frighten you like 3 months ago. Did you write it down, you will remember some of this sensation about 3 months ago, and this one week.

1. You identify what exactly frighten you, you can get 2 sheets, one is used to be, one is currently. You don't need to take it to your doctor yet, you don't really like the people to talk about it.

No, not yet. You write it down, you precipitate your feeling, you open and close your eyes, its always there, breath, and breath, anyone coming by, you are stressful your space is always someone coming in to intrude you, taken you out of those green door light benearth those door frame, a swing hedge sound?

You feeling you coming out of your psychi sense? Awake out of the veil?

2. That is the veil?

Yes. That one and very very ying. You one step away, to go open that door, and...you won't even wake up.

3. That is the vaccum part or that is Hugh's engine part?

I don't think you are super conscious when you turn around inside your own room, sometimes you are so giant in your chair, you lean back bent in writing, and those people none stop knocking your room, and cut in, you remember those, so you thought,.....this time again, you habitually turn around, but there is no one there.

4. They hurting me?

No, you are not conscious. If you are conscious that door is there, its where they make you now. You done it knowingly that audio part your head reacts.

But nothing is there.

Correct when you turn your head and eyes looking.

Can I write those down?

Of course. 

Keep it for myself?

Yes.

Will that improve a lot of the things?

Yes.

How would I tell people something like that?

You say when someone knowing a problem, 50% things are cured, I think I have the confident on knowing that 1 week, 2 weeks pushing through, and 3 week, trying that for 10 weeks. It is that positive!

So I don't necessary to tell them what I wrote in there, the things I hear or still remember?

No. Those things hurting you, but you keep some parts of that with you, keep your sense a lot more privacy protected, keep your head calm down, you could own some feeling. Hate, good, loving...one day, you tell someone, it doesn't need to be today. 

It will help my brain, I test it.

It is.

So the diary does work?

Yes, it always does.

How about take it to the psychatrist? Not my on-site doctor?

You become so ying, you feel dying? You go to 2 or 3 those visiting hours doctor. You prepare a sheet, in your own folder, what is you wish they can handle, that day you only present the fake sheet.

2 yellow folder  -   Your fake sheet, a very very beginning about you yourself.

                              The real sheet.   "I used to in my real life, I have seeing things in front of my real fear in front of my real eyes. I could tell, that is a real real real life scenario. But I also have the back burner of the past, I wonder how you can do things to let me know, I am safe feeling safe with my own feeling or the front road ahead. "

If he asking you, "How would you say that, can you give me an example?"

"I wrote a list of the pages, and the sheet, its too many things to talk about, but today is only the 1st session. I can only work on 1 thing in my life including my physician to my physical strength. To work on my mind, or my head, this is the professional help, or my privacy protected, you can tell me?"

And what do I do if I am driven to be mad and ....

You tell him.

That is the privacy protected?

Yes.

Do I tell him my mind what it used to be, all this frame, or the excuse or?

You say, my head is very very audio driven, and even now, my adrenal is a lot of this entity things hurting my chest, my head, my sensation as long as if I close my eyes or something a real thing, as if, I never get out of this nightmare of my life. I want to relinquish some head strain, and that will combine my physical strength to recovery, and my head one day can be a lot more noise down, or keep hurting me at my chest, or the head, or the eye closing the next second none stop. People saying how do you live for 24 hours, if that is 18 hours just no one helps me, per second, per min, this sensation if I put my attention in, or I taken it is normal, or can be minimized, I mean, I suffer a lot, and someone says, its an immediate must be calm down, and those help such as coming here the first session, you can tell me, how my feeling makes me normal, what does that mean. Can I write it that down? 

You say you want an immediate calm down, have you tried anyway, it is an immediate calm down that second or the min?

Yes, and it will feel different. 

You have that kinds of the experience? Can you describe to me?

I think .... I have never knowing what that is, or being normal again, but when the remedy did have something affect my entire physical, this is the strange thing, in my life, in my entire life, I will never never never able to....walk for example, or saying seeing my mother's own painting and saying, there is 1 thing, and then there is the second thing if she coming back and knowing how chaos I was, and I would be....everything gone, so she never knows I suffered. I am just another guy standing next by another person. 

( Your heart racing ... )

Will, where did you do your paramedic? In the helicopter? 

Breath, relax, straight up your back, your head, the jaw down, meaning your 2 eyes  a little bit looking it down, chest out, breath, breath hurt your chest or your stomach. Let out. 

You know you are a father of your own kid?

Do you eat yet? The kitchen given you some food, every hour, those on the plate, on those folding table, your lunch 3 tier boxes those? The juice jar, the juice gallon, the one whiteout the eyes those party venue, or the distilled water? 

Nicky and Kian's eating time, they have no food ....this is monday morning, not yet 12. You cannot put anything inside your mouth, like 10 container of some food inside your room, outside, those walkway? 

The tea, the warm soup, the more dilute liquid, or some energy powder, the supplement they feed you, or they watch it for you, the nutritional super food? 

Your kitchen makes you some squashed soup, right at your own bed, if you clean those up, and marching in your corridor the walkway, every chair, the bench, the flower, the desk, either side, left and right, the kitchen stand, your bed can seeing that every day, a maid given you a tea jar, the warm tea jar, the white towel, the nurse stand ready to come in, or you have to be 1 person sitting on that small office lower chair. Why you cannot higher that office chair by leveling it up? You make your monitor mounted higher? 

You tell the maid, not just the janitor to do that.....

You want them to go to the parliament, those free flower everyday and put it outside your room? Its free? 

"My kids can sit on those bench, or the chair, and the table. It is for them. I thought trying 1 time, and maybe every 2 days if the palace somewhere they kept some flowers.

No, every hour when you input some food, just a little bit, it warm up your stomach, your blood temperature, your circulation feeling a lot warmer, it energize you, you are not eating the whole whole whole giant meal the 2 or 3 times those time slot. You need to input your body, you know your circulation is warmer, and keep your feet warm, right now Britain is cold?

Are you guys cold over there?

No, not as cold, but I keep the blanket warmer, and my 2 hands dip in the warm water, I really really really need it.

How so, if not as cold?

I think might be I work too much. It feels really really needed and nice.

The 2 hands?

Yes.

If I tell you these things...anything they trying to tell you, or what you see......these...Like (fix, not fix), you can help, or it was helped, or I don't say, you won't know, those kinds?

You mean something did work, when it will cut it off completely those? Your physician keep working your body alignment.

You truely believe those things? The chiropractor?

Your cranial fluid if you just just just keep drinking the water, or warming your 2 feet, or your 2 hands, and keep your diet energize, your green food, your juice, your celtric belt.....just you done 1 thing right and added the 2nd thing, I cannot ask why, its not 1 thing done, other than.....maybe you have the doctor to keep you walking.

You believe those fissure plate, or those groove, exactly the movie, I don't think you are using that word from the movie, aren't you?

Nope, that is a structure I think sticking out exactly the ending of which bus, or which girl this skirt flare up.

So its not the movie?

Of course not.

It has nothing to do with the singing?

NOPE.

Dean heard you sing before? Those kararoke you all went out those, the college night?

Nope. We never hang out after the school hour.

Never?

Not any of those movie, I can tell you. 

Mark Dindal.....No, Seth won't talk to Dean those taller guys.....and Dean is less communicative type, he is very soft human.....Seth probably talks normal, those two don't blend, so so so so long ago, one day they gonna tell me they are about to die. 

Did you ever feel horror Frank was Dean position, or I am like Dean's outfit any of this combine, or Whitney, or the war, or they die on the TV wiki write-up and you have to leave all that, not communicative, not talking, not discuss, and one person passing 10, or 11 years, and someone says, that is Ocean 11, or those money stake, all of that to you, if were ever? Its me in it, those saying position?

No, you are not in it. That is Whitney, they are opposite to each other.

Like Thor is on the left top those 3 light, or this girl, your looking, or these video click times, or they are using me and you or them your classmates to make the money, and they are depleting all out, or their wants, or their Linkedin profile they built their networks?

You mean Thor is a real military uniform to get me killed, or all of them kill? We were s state university of the local kid, if not saying the ECC the community children trying to put the 100 civilian on every military monitor ....

Is that a right thing to do, I am asking?

None of them are the military uniform to get anywhere with this classify, or something they know or they fear, or they thought about their career choice, or marching forward, or the debts, or the life plan suddenly got hit in life, and while.....Why you care about it? Thor cannot use those military force to imagine they are just those ECC community college, trying to get 1 or 2 class in the summer, to make up their parents don't help them the college expense, or make it the school, or move to another state, or....whatever these are.

You are not in fear, I use the military power?

Of course not. They are the state school, the program I taught some, they aren't the minority students, they are just the local state school, from NYC, or the Long Island to end up the Buffalo, any Western New York, no one be there, to use the military force to get all of them killed, that is not one word sound right, I am telling you.

But Frank those are the mliitary?

They will never never never seeing this person anywhere in their lifetime at all. Heard the voice included, or any of their kinds, they called them the Deep Space Project, or the Deep Sea Base like those 2 otters did. ( I scream, not the UB any them knowing those)

The otter knows and I am the witness?

NO ! Can you get yourself food, eat, sleep, shower, bathing, or clean up your room, display the perfect corridor with a nurse stand, or update to them, you are the paramedic, now its my own room service, that sound funny..... I don't care how you saying it. 

You know those flower?

Seen it.

What are those?

They suck up your energy.

Your other video. 

Do you.....cry in life? You believe they is me and Mark LOTR those? And everyone believes you seeing that, or they seeing that, or we convince them, or Mark is not on the peripheral, and me is not doing that, you think?

No, I don't know.

You done anything to Hugh, or this Thor you ever talked to him, are those you and him talk, or about me, or in discussion those are the classify materials, like my own health being those kinds?

We never talk about you.

If you think the heaven gonna comes, they give me back what they owe to me, if the Earth doesn't give me back?

Do you ever think your palace people believe those, and they answer you, where are the money other than these money, your own karma, or your fate for the next better encounter to another women, or the men, those?

I thought of, right. But....

These are the brand new metal bar blackness frame....fence. The shining cold black metal.

Stop looking at it.

Not straight, not right, not left.

Next post, do you put these diet clear with the kitchen?  Your whole palace know you need your sabbatical leave?