The happy things

The Happy things, let me think....

The South Korea, that presidential candidate, the other one.  To get killed.

"You know being happy, not to fluctuate your heart, my heart, or our both stomach, like you enter the home, or I stepping in and out, and seeing you, and we are not together or agreeable anything, that is for 8 years....and we need to make this better. So I start to imagine how I can do that....and I set myself this timer, and hope anything with the 4 people family, we find an exit with all of these things outside driven us mad, or in the madness. No, I know....you moving out, or I moving out this no one knows the life....its on your side, I am fine. But for me to reach out a happier life, I need to imagine that life a bit back to my family. I can tell you now, and I can tell you this plan. And some parts of all these gear, its making me thinking more of the life after.  Not chaos as the black, or upset like a black, or my height, or my background, or my works, or the critique, or I heard it all....not to deny anything, so I have another 2 years to make it the 6 years, and then looking back, that was such in a hurry, in a short notice, as if no one ever helped in. All these on the screen and not even one help anyone extent that for me, for my heart, or.....probably the romance hoping to get to the seat being wanted, and I imagine that. Now...those are over, and you moving out. A brand new plan, these today all that, if you reading it. "

"Do I think I would be happy if my mother is on my phone everyday? I never dare to think too much."

"Do I think if I reach out my father, or any family, has any exit in front of them, all of these...its not I report to them since I profession myself in Canada, just not saying if I prostitute myself after I leave the Northwestern. Well, if this name being used as the title, and the whole world gets upset, or you always are, or me....this time, its me turning back for ...the last journey having them or having without them. You think? So ..... no one helps me, and I decide if these sheets are mine last resource while I looking back one day. Its someday, it was somehow, or it was ....blank eyes all the ways. And little bit, I ...panic, or I shouldn't tell you these my stomach to my period, and the guys sound like you, it would be you and your brother. It doesn't make that much difference to tell you the truth, if my mother can go with me to the Pharmacy, and we stay on those isle, or she does it for me. If she does for me 10 times, I tell you how I feeling it, she walking inside the door, and I seeing her carrying that bag as my mother.  I have no way out, this is the way out, and she stands a bit for me, I tell you how that felt in 3 weeks. "

"I don't know if the little things makes me happy, too much burden, too much stress....but if reaching out 1 chance, I give 3 chances on myself. I got told, someone learn that lessons, and if just this time, someone does that, it will never be your father does that talk to me. And Kate would have hope that....not my story to ends up that pair, right? To be your mother and she wasn't because she is like that.  "

"My father, my mother, 1 Oprah, 1 Kamala

2 kids, the lunch box schedule, you 1 Harry. Every sheet, and every schedule, the purchase list, and write it down, or ....something as your life keep going. 

I write them in printing, or in calligraphy...like those paypal, you know how the cards, or the letters, people mailing to each other's house, it will never be started as, "I screw it up my life, I haven't talked to my parents, so now you got a letter." But,  I reaching out my parents, so at least that is not how the written letter to sound like I have more dignity of it. "

Now about your brother....

"When I take myself or you leave me, as that equation is out of each other's context, being upset all the time on the stomach .....love or hate, or scared....you do know I lean on this California strip edge is to get to Japan for a new bill for that 2 hours away from us. Me and the 2 kids, or the best friend, or the driver....or these lunch brown bags, their school year, or the college funds, or my work this 1 month, I give myself a new balance. 

Meaning....Harry, you have to be on your own to your brother. That is your brother or your brother + your father. I am off your system to feel, or sense, and with these 2 kids, I pull them a bit growing up without you being affected. 

You be smart, then you be clever with all these things in front you and me. That's the only thing I can do for you, its to focus on myself and ready to jump that distance flight, and sort our bill as best as we know the resource allowed us.

You be smart, its without a noise when you thinking yourself inside your home, and you carried these 3 vocational home, the house, or the mansion, etc etc, its the yearly tax bills. Not I remind you what burden you, it doesn't get to a 5 years plan, and I only get the 6 years hoping to reach out the 30 years, and none of us getting our stomach up and down, and I learn how to be happy every year, one bit away from you, so in case....I gonna be alone standing on the 7th year, or the 10th years, I need to make it in life, and sort my parents these last 10 years, or 20 years for them or for myself. You understand?

You be smart, you be observative, I won't be as clear as you are. WE can only leave that discussion equation, and you 1 person, sleep well or better, and in 1 week, or 2 weeks....you relax enough then you think. Just not right now. We are changing that life pace.

"

The Health Talk

"You know, Harry. People like us, no one does a health talk, not in the real life and one day given it back to the society how much junks we generate in our life or in others, and everyone will say that to you, or to me, only in America. So when we can learn that health talk, its to repeat those health vocabulary, like taking a shower or wash the hair, make me feel better, its the hair shorten a bit, and less heel running, or the 4 hands/ feet got cold so often, and get a light jacket the morning California sunshine....so we cannot never make it that talk because we believe we are the steel made. And while anyone told us, or any health talk, its our schedule so tight, we choose to die on the stage or on the camera, to make everyone else pays. "

"You agree with that?"

"I don't know how to do a health talk, like 10 mins each day reading something Natural Health, or the National Cancer report, or the vitamin and the hair, or the skin tones, or those vocabulary, without you, I practice those jargon to someone else. Like Love more, or my show, and....I will hide behind you these words, pretend I could believe what the other people say to me. Start doing a health talk, and the more I practice on my mother or on my parents, maybe i can savior myself life back. In 20 years, its the 20 years for the kids, and you, too."

"I wish you to know, I maybe should focus how to succeed in this, than ever imagined anymore to England, while one day we plan this transferring the kids' education back to Britain, we can write, we can fund, and we can have 30 folder files to keep each sheet in there, and I will sort that, not that I feel being supportive, if you are not a Ph.D, and less to say, if you learn it, you go and tell your father, those kinds of the things. It will hurt me. But I probably sometimes wish you are a Ph.D."